I performed an autopsy on my own brain, BRAIN, at Singapore Management University CCA Room, Singapore, on 16 April 2008 at 0302 hours.
From the anatomic findings and pertinent history, i ascribe the death to:
OVERDOSE OF REDBULL and PROLONGED OVERNIGHT STAY IN CCA ROOM Due To Or As a Consequence of:
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Anatomical Summary:
I. Overdose of Red Bull Energy Drink
a) Currently sold in all 7-11, at a promotional price of $4.50 for two cans ($2.80 per can originally)
b) High dosage found in brain (think it was poured in directly to achieve the best result)
c) Incompatibility between Red Bull Gold and Red Bull Silver, due to the switch after drinking the low quality Red Bull Gold.
II. Prolonged Overnight Stay in CCA Room
a) An estimated duration of 2 weeks (1 night in SMU is enough to prove fatality)
b) Amazing endurance of body immune system to SMU
c) Suspected main cause of stay from Final Examination by the indifferent 'Different' university
d) Discovered pieces of Corp Reporting notes and Income Tax Act in the brain - suspected to have stuff himself with these notes for direct diffusion into blood stream.
EXTERNAL EXAMINATION
The brain is well-developed at an age of 22, but found to be decomposing, probably due to a period of 2 years and 2 months of corrosive attack, backtrack to probably 2-3 years ago. Highly possible to be held in places with tight security. Green and Blackish creamy substance found to stain the brain as well. Minimal.
Routine studies were ordered.
RYAN
DEPUTY MEDICAL EXAMINER
Dated: 16 April 2008